Humbled and Overwhelmed 

Wow! Thank you all for taking time to read about my #ADHD life! I am humbled at the fact that I’ve had 65 views in only 39 hours time. That may not seem like a lot to you, but it means so much to me that I am reaching even a few people.

I am humbled at this because I prayed this morning about this blog…I may not be a talented, extravagant writer, but I am sharing my heart and my experiences with you in an attempt to bring awareness about #ADHD, #Depression, and I may touch on a few other mental illnesses along the way. I hope that those with these diagnosis will feel less alone, and that their families and friends can come to understand them better. I feel that I speak for other ADHDers when I say, “we just want to be understood and accepted for who we are!”

I’m overwhelmed by the great response because with all these readers, I feel I have to keep the momentum going and keep writing.  What if I get writer’s block?  What if I just stop writing (like I did when I was trying to start a few blogs before)? What if I fail yet AGAIN at this? 

Please give me feedback by leaving me comments with your thoughts, opinions, or just letting me know that I am not alone!

Cue the Anxiety…

Here I am, wide awake. Need to get ready for work, but something holds me back. People are going to think the worst of me for missing work yesterday. They will find me to be a horrible person. What should I do about this? Well, work harder to be a better me.   So, why do I tend to do more of the same?  I guess it is to avoid having to face people.  I never really thought I had social anxiety, but I guess I do.  

I worry so much about what others will think of me that it affects my ability to function. When I am suffering and messing up, it causes me to continue in the same pattern because I am afraid to face the people who know what a screw up I am. Even if they don’t see me as a screw up, I think they do, and it becomes harder and harder to face them. 

I pass co-workers in the halls or work alongside them and they may smile and be courteous, but all I can feel their eyes saying is a bunch of negativeness about me: 

  • “You aren’t any good at your job!”
  • “I don’t know why/how you haven’t been fired!”
  • “Nobody likes you!”
  • “I only tolerate you because I have to!”
  • “You are annoying!”

I know these are my own perceptions, but I don’t know how to stop playing them over and over again in my head! The internal pain and suffering is very difficult to overcome!

Does anyone else feel this way? Does this sound familiar? Please tell me I am not alone!!

Getting Back Up After a Fall

I started back on my meds on Friday, which I thought was going to be a blessing and hoped would be the answer to some depression issues I have been having since March. I know the meds take time for the body to adjust to, but I had forgotten that since they didn’t affect me over the weekend.

Today I had a headache upon waking. I also had the normal brain fog. After eating my breakfast, drinking some coffee, scrolling through Facebook, and starting this blog, I decided I better get ready for work. By this time, I realized I had forgotten to change my autoship order for Young Living. So, I multitasked and washed my hair while they were fixing my order. After they were finished and I was dressed and ready for work, I began also experiencing a bout of dizziness. I had pretty much decided I was going to call into work when they contacted me. My schedule had been changed Friday after I left work, and I was unaware. I was supposed to be with a client. I explained this and stated that I was having some adverse affects of my meds and was just about to call when she contacted me.   I’ve had a feeling of dizziness or like my head is too heavy all day.  I tried to take a nap this afternoon to get some relief, but sleep would not come!!
I am still feeling heavy headed and dizzy. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep. 

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better, more productive day!

Hello World!!

As an adult, I was diagnosed with ADD, which is a form of ADHD (but not all people have the H or Hyperactive part). There are actually four types of ADHD: inattentive, impulsive, hyperactive, and combined.  I’m combined, but have more inattentive and impulsivity than I do of hyperactivity.

There are some very successful, brilliant people who have ADHD. I commend them for their hard word and determination more so than many other successful persons because I understand how much harder they have to work to simply keep their thoughts together. To be clear, all successful people deserve to be recognized for their success. But people with ADHD struggle so much more to simply focus their thoughts not to mention struggles with time management, organization, forgetfulness, and so much more.

I’m writing this blog to share my own story to make others aware of some of the difficulties, to help those with loved ones to have a better understanding into our minds, and to encourage others with ADHD to keep trying!!